Thank you!

I just wanted to say  THANK YOU so much to everyone for your kind responses to my blog post on Friday.  

I received the sweetest comments, Facebook messages, emails, and text messages over the weekend.  

God has been good in reviving my soul over the past few days and you gals were a part of that.  

I wanted to share a verse that has been on repeat in my thoughts and encourage you to memorize it with me.  

I am thankful for you all and your encouragement!

Love, 

Laura

Vulnerable

So I guess it has been months since I last did this thing called blogging.

There are reasons...

Many reasons.

But basically, I didn't feel like writing.  I didn't feel like I had anything worth saying.  So I didn't say anything.

But that is not all.

There has also been a struggle going on in my heart.  One that I hesitate to write about, but I feel prompted to share.  So I'm going to get vulnerable.

Before Mr. T and I had Sweet P, we struggled to get pregnant.  I kind of hate using the word struggled, because compared to some women, ours was not much of a struggle.  But according to the Dr.s, there was no rhyme or reason why I should not be getting pregnant.  I just wasn't.  Eventually, I was put on fertility meds, and 2 rounds later along came our daughter.

During my pregnancy and even afterwards, I was confident that getting pregnant and having a child would somehow 'right' my body, and having baby 2 would be easy.  But it didn't happen.

This is where I struggle to speak about this journey.  I am thankful to the moon and back for our Sweet P, and see God's blessings on Mr. T and I by giving her to us.  But there is still that sadness that lurks in the corners of my heart, wanting another child that I cannot seem to have.  I do not want to seem ungrateful, or have a complaining spirit.  There are women out there who have miscarriage, after miscarriage, or have tried everything and still cannot get pregnant and my heart BREAKS for them.  I have never experienced that and would never compare my story to theirs. My story is my own, and I recognize that God is writing it.

But, the desire and struggle for another child is very real.  And for me, it's been a lonely road.

The journey has not been quite as emotional since we already have a child, and if anything, it causes me to cherish her even more.  But I struggle to speak about it since my plight is not that too great of a burden.  Obviously, there are worse things I could be facing.

But, God has been working in my heart.  I am recognizing more and more that my desire is a godly one, and not something to be ashamed of.  I believe He wants us to desire to have many children, whether naturally, through adoption, or spiritually.  I just need to learn to not exalt my desires above his.

We may never have another child.  It is painful to say that, but I need to be open about it.  I'm sure I'm not the only mom that has experienced this, but it's not too often that I hear the raw honesty about this specific struggle.

We are praying fervently about our next steps and God's will for our lives.  It's frustrating to not have answers, and I don't know that we will ever get any.  But this statement with always ring true for me, 'He is still good.'

Date Night?

What can a momma do around here to get a date night with her hubs and some friends?  Apparently nothing, because it just ain't happening.
At least according to my child.
So each year Mr. T and I participate in Restaurant Week by going to Ruth's Chris for dinner.  (It's the only time we can afford it, and even still we have to eat only bread and water for the next week to make up for it.) Anyhow, we confidently left the fed, clean, and prepped for bed Sweet 'P' with the babysitter, and headed off into the night.  Everything was going well, all of the party had arrived, and we set off to eat until our arteries couldn't handle anymore of the goodness that was once Ruth's Chris.  (Sidenote: Can anyone explain to me the title of this restaurant?  I mean who is Ruth, and Chris? Did Ruth own Chris?  Was Ruth Chris' mom?  Did he ruin her date night dinner too?)
So, about 30 minutes and 3 glasses of sweet tea into dinner, I decided to check in on the posse back at home.  Apparently the 'child' had decided to have the melt down of melt down's about 10 minutes after we walked out of the door.  I couldn't even hear what the babysitter was saying on the phone.  No joke, it sounded like there was a half starved monkey ripping it's fur out in the background.
After about an hour of this going on, I finally decided to head home without the hubs, and without even tasting my steak dinner which was on a platter ready to be set before me and be slowly devoured by a half starved monkey's mom.  I can't say that I didn't break any laws on my way home, but upon arriving, and picking up the wild child, the cries immediately ceased, and on her own popped in her paci, and promptly went to sleep.  Seriously?!
But my hero arrived shortly after with my meal in a lovely to-go bag, and I happily enjoyed my not so hot dinner.
How was your night?

PS.  Here is a snippet of the calm Sweet 'P' taking a bath.  Gotta love those rolls!

Piper Stats

So most of you know that Piper is home now and recovering from her open heart surgery and she is doing awesome. We still have a few things we are working on but Piper wanted to give a few stats on her and how she is doing:

1. I weigh 9lbs 3ozs
2. I can hold my head up on my own now
3. I love looking in the mirror
4. My hair is still red. :)
5. My mommy and daddy make me smile.
6. I still haven't laughed out loud yet but I'm close.
7. I have discovered my ears and I love them!
8. I also love hanging out in the Bjorn.
9. I sleep about 10 hours a night. This makes mommy and daddy happy.
10. I've started taking entire bottles but I still have a ways to go.
11. I still don't like being on my tummy.
12. My eyes are a pretty shade of dark blue/green.
13. My paci is my best friend, and mommy's.
14. I'm starting to out grow my newborn clothes. YAY!

 This is mommy again. Piper is working on a poop. She really is a different baby since her surgery. She seems so much happier, breathing better, gaining weight. Dr's said that her heart murmur is completely gone. Woohoo! She still has some reflux that we are working on and she also still has an NG tube. Until she starts taking entire bottles consistently and her weight is back on track, the tube will stay in so that we can give her whatever she doesn't take by bottle. Todd and I are in love and so thankful. It hasn't been the easiest ride but we wouldn't change a thing. Here is a little photo treat for you.

The Best Birthday Present

Yesterday was my 30th birthday.  Wow.  I'm still not sure that I believe it.  The last few years of my twenties have been very exciting with some big life changing, memorable events, and I am looking forward to my thirties.

But that was not the highlight of my day.  The best thing about my birthday was the fact that I got to spend the entire day with my Sweet P....at home!  
Yep, she was able to come home late Monday evening.  We are so thankful that God has answered our prayers.  The last 48 hours have been a little crazy, and I am running on little sleep and lots of coffee (so if you see spelling errors, forgive me) but sitting here watching her sleep as I type this, makes it all worth it.  
A week and a half ago I told her Dr. I wanted her home by my birthday.  Well, I guess she listened.  

Leaving the hospital!

(Hat via Bearhug Creations)

 Finally at home and resting

 Hanging out with mom on her birthday :)

 Watching mom blog

Have a great day!

One Month: Piper Grace part 2

Yesterday I began to tell you about Piper's congenital heart failure, and what the past month has been like for Todd and I.  Once Piper had been in the NICU for a few days, things started to look better.  She was eating well, and resting, but then on the day she was 1 week old things got bad again.  Todd and I could tell right away that something didn't seem right with her.  She was very lethargic, refusing to eat, and basically just laying there and not sleeping.  That night we received about four different phone calls from the Dr.s giving us bad news after bad news.  Piper's gut (intestines, and colon) were not working properly.  They first realized this when she had a bloody diaper, and then further investigated with x-rays.  

The next morning we realized how severe this issue was.  She was taken off milk and was only receiving fluids through an IV in her head.  She also had to have a tube put in through her mouth to suck out anything that might be in her stomach.  They wanted her to stay this way for several days to see if her gut could recover.  If it did not, then they would have to perform surgery and remove a large portion of her intestines which is very risky.  

Piper's weight started to drop and she went down to 3.14 lbs.  Her heart issue was no longer a top priority.  She was now fighting for her life over this intestine issue.  

Todd and I were helpless.  We didn't know what to think, say, feel.  Watching our daughter gag on a tube and not be allowed to eat was probably the hardest think we've ever had to see.  But she did recover.  Apparently her gut was not mature enough to handle the amount of milk she had been given, and reacted violently.  Now she has been eased back into feeding and is taking her bottles pretty well.  

Those few days were very intense for me.  

There have been many occasions in my life were I have cried out to God, but not quite like I did during that time.  Knowing that I was a mom, and feeling like a mom were two totally different things.  I couldn't do anything to help my little girl... at least that is what I thought.  But then I was reminded that I could storm God's throne on Piper's behalf, and what better advocate than her mom.  

God reminded us that He was still in control of the situation and was just as present then as he ever was.  Thankfully things have gotten better since that day and a lot has happened, but that will be in another post on another day.  

Pregnancy Facts

Ok, so these are not necessarily facts for all preganant people, but they are for me. Just a few things I have learned about over the past 8 months.  Oh the joy.

WARNING:  if you are a boy, you may not want to read this entry.  So proceed with caution.

1.  There is such a thing as 2nd and 3rd (maybe 4th) breakfasts, lunches and dinner in the same day.  Dont judge. 

2.  Remember these? (sorry it's so long)  http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=898745022&tid=onpn001496&kwid=1&ap=7&sem=true&mkwid=pNC00f  Yea, they are now my best friends.  Really.  Each pair has a name.

3.  Two words: Mucus plug.  (I wont go any farther.) 

4.  Panty liners need to just have a permanent home in your closet.  And while you are at it, suck it up and go ahead and buy extra underwear, and forget the pretty ones. Go for comfort.

5.  Yes, you can always get bigger.  There is no cap on that.

6.  Crying and laughing will happen when you least expect it, and at the worst times.  Just get over it and perfect your, "What are you staring at?" glare while rubbing your stomach. 

7.  You will rub/touch your stomach consciously and unconsciously.  (Hopefully I will not do this too much after I have the baby.)

8.  No matter how many times you get a pedicure, swollen feet are still not pretty. 

9.  When they say there will come a time when you can no longer see parts of your body because of your stomach, it's true.  Get a mirror.

10.  It is perfectly acceptable to exagerate your waddle and pregnant belly in order to be first in line at the buffet, or sit in the front passenger seat of a car.  Blitz!

Mother's Day!

I got to celebrate Mother's Day!!  You have no idea how much it makes my heart happy to be able to say that I'm a mommy to a baby girl.  I know that she is not born yet, but given the journey that I have been on to get here, I will enjoy every second of being pregnant and the fact that I'm going to be a mom.

My wonderful husband made the whole weekend amazing.  On Saturday I got to celebrate Piper with my first baby shower, and then Todd took me to Cheesecake Factory (one of my favorite restaurants).  Man, was it good.  Then Sunday morning, he woke me up with gifts and breakfast in bed.  (Whew, I love that man.) 

I had picked out a couple of neckalces on Etsy that I liked and Todd choose to get me this one. 

I lurve it!!  Seriously have not taken it off since Sunday.

He made me cinnamon buns.  I think I may have licked the icing off the plate.



I had such a wonderful Mother's day!  I am so thankful to God for blessing us with a little girl.  He is so good.  I am also thankful for the wonderful examples that God has put into my life of what a mom looks like.  My own mother left a legacy for me to imitate, and later I was blessed with another mom in Carol. Then two years ago, God blessed me again with the best Mother-in-law ever.  All of these women have had such a godly influence on me and shown me what it is like to be a godly mom, in an ungodly world. 

Here is a quick snapshot of what 32 weeks looks like. 

Todd, thank you so much for giving me such a wonderful Mother's day.  I love you so much and I'm so thankful to be having this little girl with you!

Celebrating Piper: My first baby shower

This past Saturday, my sweet friend and co-worker, Kristi, threw a baby shower for me and our other co-workers to celebrate Piper!  I was so excited.  I've never been thrown a baby shower before. ;)

Everything looked so cute and perfect, which wasn't hard for her to do since she is an event planner. 

All the food was amazing!  She even made little mini banana pudding cups.  Too bad I didn't get a picture, but they were awesome! I think Piper gained weight at this shower.

I loved this pendant!  It was totally my style.  I even asked her if I could have it and put it up in Piper's nursery.

My lovely friends and co-workers.



Presents!



How adorable is this?  Close line of dresses for Piper!  Love. The girls joked about how they picked out Piper's clothes.  They knew if there was an adult size and I would wear it, then they should get it for her. 

Kristi, thank you so much for such an awesome shower!  I had so much fun, really.  I'm so thankful for your friendship, and the fact that I also get to work with you each day.  I love all you ladies and the relationship I have with all of you!  It was a wonderful party, and I know that if Piper could, she would say Thank you!

Maternity Photos

I just wanted to post some photos that Todd took of me at the beach.  We are wanting to get some professional shots done, but I think some of these turned out well enough that we may just save the money. Plus we are going to the beach again in a few weeks and will probably take a few more photos. What do you think?

Sweet P

The time has come!  

We have found out what we are having... a baby....

GIRL!!!

Bring on the pink! (Actually, I don't really like the color pink, but it looks like I need to get over that.)

We are beyond excited at our little Sweet P!  

We are already so in-love with her, and cant wait to see her little face.  

It was a perfect day to visit the doctor.

The weather was awesome, and Todd was able to go with me.  

We decided to make a day date of it.

After we found out what we were having, Todd gave me a gift. 

So sweet!  Made me cry like a baby. (Pun intended. :))

After that we had lunch together and went shopping to buy our little girl her first outfit.

We got a couple of other things too, but Todd picked this one out.

Didn't he do a good job?

We ended the day, by telling our family and friends.  It was so great to share such good news with them.  But the best part of the day, was celebrating what God has done for us.

Last year this time, we were struggling with the idea that we may never get pregnant, but now we are expecting a wonderful little baby girl.  July 6th, can't get here soon enough.  :)

Coming Back Around...

Can't believe I'm already 22 weeks!  The time is flying by!
I've spent the last month and a half taking a break from blogging, and just focusing on getting the house together and ready for a little one.  Now I'm starting to come back around.

But first, here are some photos of the growing tummy for your viewing pleasure.  :)

Week 17

Week 18

Week 19

Week 20

Week 21

Welcome to Second Trimester

I can't believe I'm already in my second trimester.  Today marks 16 weeks.  It still seems unreal that I have a baby growing in me, but it is slowly setting in.  The morning sickness is completely gone, however I find that I still have aversions to certain foods, and my gag reflex is on a hair trigger.  The one thing that still hasnt gone away is the fatigue.  I can't seem to get any energy to save my life, (hence the lack of blogging lately).  Just walking up the stairs requires a nap.  And my dreams....crazy!  I just keep reminding myself that it's all worth it, and I just need to get used to the fact that the rest of my life is just going to be random and unpredictable. 

Week 14

Week 15

Week 16

Hello Baby!

Haven't been blogging lately because..... I'm pregnant!!  Todd and I found out back in October, and I am almost 14 weeks.  It really has been an easy pregnancy so far.  My only complaint is that I'm exhausted all. the. time.  But this baby is such a blessing and praise.  God has been good to us and allowed us to get pregnant in His timing.  I'm due July 6th, and can't wait to meet this little one.

(Couldn't get the picture to flip.)

 11 Weeks

 12 Weeks

13 Weeks