Friday, June 1, 2012

Pregnancy Facts

Ok, so these are not necessarily facts for all preganant people, but they are for me. Just a few things I have learned about over the past 8 months.  Oh the joy.

WARNING:  if you are a boy, you may not want to read this entry.  So proceed with caution.

1.  There is such a thing as 2nd and 3rd (maybe 4th) breakfasts, lunches and dinner in the same day.  Dont judge. 

2.  Remember these? (sorry it's so long)  Yea, they are now my best friends.  Really.  Each pair has a name.

3.  Two words: Mucus plug.  (I wont go any farther.) 

4.  Panty liners need to just have a permanent home in your closet.  And while you are at it, suck it up and go ahead and buy extra underwear, and forget the pretty ones. Go for comfort.

5.  Yes, you can always get bigger.  There is no cap on that.

6.  Crying and laughing will happen when you least expect it, and at the worst times.  Just get over it and perfect your, "What are you staring at?" glare while rubbing your stomach. 

7.  You will rub/touch your stomach consciously and unconsciously.  (Hopefully I will not do this too much after I have the baby.)

8.  No matter how many times you get a pedicure, swollen feet are still not pretty. 

9.  When they say there will come a time when you can no longer see parts of your body because of your stomach, it's true.  Get a mirror.

10.  It is perfectly acceptable to exagerate your waddle and pregnant belly in order to be first in line at the buffet, or sit in the front passenger seat of a car.  Blitz!