Friday, July 11, 2014

Dear P

Dear Sweet P,

You are two!  I'm not going to lie, it kinda makes me sad to say that.  I feel like you are now officially a toddler, and no longer my baby-baby.  
This past year has brought so many great memories.  You have changed so much in one year that it is weird to look at photos of you from your first year of life.   
You have become 'mommy's little helper', miss independent, quite sassy, Chickfila's number 1 customer, and a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse enthusiast.  
You are starting to speak in sentences and I love hearing your little voice, except for the occasional banshee screams that you like to do for. no. reason. at. all.  
You also LOVE to be read to, chased around the house, and to go 'ou-side' (outside).
My favorite thing you do is when you tell me how excited you are about something.  You are so stink'n cute!
I'm excited to see what this next year brings, to watch your personality develop, and see you learn new things.  

Baby girl, I love you to the moon and back.  You are my favorite, ever-ever.
Happy Birthday!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Sweet P turns 2!

My Sweet P is 2 years old ya'll!
Oh man is it bittersweet to say that.

We had a great day besides the fact that she had hand, foot, and mouth and the AC went out about 30 minutes before her party.  (Yes, this momma was stressed.)

But everything went well, and our Sweet P was well loved.

Goodness my kid is cute!  

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Thank you!

I just wanted to say  THANK YOU so much to everyone for your kind responses to my blog post on Friday.  
I received the sweetest comments, Facebook messages, emails, and text messages over the weekend.  
God has been good in reviving my soul over the past few days and you gals were a part of that.  
I wanted to share a verse that has been on repeat in my thoughts and encourage you to memorize it with me.  

I am thankful for you all and your encouragement!

Friday, June 20, 2014


So I guess it has been months since I last did this thing called blogging.

There are reasons...

Many reasons.

But basically, I didn't feel like writing.  I didn't feel like I had anything worth saying.  So I didn't say anything.

But that is not all.

There has also been a struggle going on in my heart.  One that I hesitate to write about, but I feel prompted to share.  So I'm going to get vulnerable.

Before Mr. T and I had Sweet P, we struggled to get pregnant.  I kind of hate using the word struggled, because compared to some women, ours was not much of a struggle.  But according to the Dr.s, there was no rhyme or reason why I should not be getting pregnant.  I just wasn't.  Eventually, I was put on fertility meds, and 2 rounds later along came our daughter.

During my pregnancy and even afterwards, I was confident that getting pregnant and having a child would somehow 'right' my body, and having baby 2 would be easy.  But it didn't happen.

This is where I struggle to speak about this journey.  I am thankful to the moon and back for our Sweet P, and see God's blessings on Mr. T and I by giving her to us.  But there is still that sadness that lurks in the corners of my heart, wanting another child that I cannot seem to have.  I do not want to seem ungrateful, or have a complaining spirit.  There are women out there who have miscarriage, after miscarriage, or have tried everything and still cannot get pregnant and my heart BREAKS for them.  I have never experienced that and would never compare my story to theirs. My story is my own, and I recognize that God is writing it.

But, the desire and struggle for another child is very real.  And for me, it's been a lonely road.

The journey has not been quite as emotional since we already have a child, and if anything, it causes me to cherish her even more.  But I struggle to speak about it since my plight is not that too great of a burden.  Obviously, there are worse things I could be facing.

But, God has been working in my heart.  I am recognizing more and more that my desire is a godly one, and not something to be ashamed of.  I believe He wants us to desire to have many children, whether naturally, through adoption, or spiritually.  I just need to learn to not exalt my desires above his.

We may never have another child.  It is painful to say that, but I need to be open about it.  I'm sure I'm not the only mom that has experienced this, but it's not too often that I hear the raw honesty about this specific struggle.

We are praying fervently about our next steps and God's will for our lives.  It's frustrating to not have answers, and I don't know that we will ever get any.  But this statement with always ring true for me, 'He is still good.'