Dear P: Happy 1st Birthday!

Dear Sweet P,

Happy Birthday baby!  We made it!  You are now 1 year old.  In so many ways I can't believe this day has finally come, but it has and I praise God for it.  

This past year was a hard one.  The hardest I've ever had.  But waking up each morning and seeing your face whether in the hospital or at home, made it all worth it.  There were days in the beginning where the thought of you turning a year old seemed like dream, and I remember begging God to allow that day to come.  Obviously he heard me. 

There were also lots of great memories and great victories.  The first time I saw you I cried. It was an ugly cry, but a happy one.  I remember how soft you were and couldn't stop touching you.  

When you first came home, you were such a great sleeper, unfortunately it didn't last, but now you are better.  

I remember hearing your laugh for the first time, and I think I cried then too.  It's still my favorite sound.  

I remember the surgeon telling us minutes after your surgery that your heart was great, and your dad and I did a dance in the hallway of the hospital.  I will never forget holding you shortly after that and singing to you so that you would know that it was me.  

I remember your worst poopy diapers and being thankful for each one. 

I remember when we discovered that you had red hair and how shocked we were.  (Thanks Grandma J!!) 

I want you to know baby, that I love you.  I love you more than you could ever know.  I fought for you and will continue to do so.  You are a gift that I asked God for and he granted it.  So I promise that I will try to be a good steward of what he has given me.  

You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me cry, and sometimes you make me mad.  But most of all you make me thankful.  

You are my hero.  

Love,

Momma

Though she be but little, she is fierce.