The next day was a million times better. Sweet P had started to wake up and was looking around at us. I had never been so happy to see that pair of blue eyes.
She was still having random irregular heartbeats, but they seemed to be fading.
Also, I had been able to get some rest, which was good because momma bear mode had kicked in.
I was on alert for everything, from the heart monitor, to her doses of pain meds. Our poor nurse had to put up with so much from me. I was constantly asking questions, and pushing her to make sure everything was ok. But let me say that she was absolutely wonderful. She patiently answered all my questions and concerns and was even proactive when it came to me taking care of myself during this time as well. Even the cardiologist that was on call during the night was a godsend. Through a conversation we had before he went home from his shift, I found out that he was a Summit church member, and a Virginia Tech fan. This was a good sign. :)
We ended up spending only 3 days in the cardiac ICU before they moved us to a room on the main floor.
Right before they moved us, one of the doctors that had been following Sweet P's case, came in and asked me if I wanted to hold her. "No." I told her. I was so scared that I would hurt her. I was content just being by her side. "I wasn't asking. I want you to hold her." It was then that I really looked at the doctor, and realized that she wasn't talking to me as a medical professional, but as a fellow mom. I would like to be able to tell you that it was so awesome to finally be able to hold her, but honestly, I was shaking so bad that I didn't really enjoy any of it. It was later when I rocked her to sleep, that I felt the rush of emotions, and familiarity of being her momma.
One week later from the day of her surgery, we were sent home.
I write all of these things for multiple reasons. One, I want to remember what God did for us during that time. It's easy to forget all the little ways that God provided for and answered our prayers. Two, I want others to see God's work in our lives and give him all the glory. Three, I want any other moms out there that may be going through a similar situation, to know that others have gone before them and can understand what they are going through. I have already had two moms contact me who are presently experiencing something similar to what we went through.
Even though our experience was tough, God was gracious enough to give me perspective and realize that we really did not have it that bad. There were so many other stories that I learned about of children who were in much more serious situations than Sweet P. My heart ached for these mom's. Many of them did not have the hope of their child surviving like we did.
God is good ya'll. He has allowed me to question his goodness and love, and proved to me that he is unshakeable. He was my refuge during this time, and remained faithful to me even when I wanted to push him away. This past year has been marked by many milestones, and thousands of praises. But through it all I have been changed for the better and have drawn closer to my savior.
Thank you for reading about Sweet P's story.
God bless,
Laura
Part 1
Part 2
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